Sitting on the porch watching my kids play in their pajamas in our back yard, I felt my heart thumping and realized that it felt like it was expanding, about to burst. The winter was hard. I isolated myself a lot. We didn't go many places. I didn't enjoy Christmas. I had been up at 4 AM every Christmas previous, even as an adult, ready to go to my parents house. This year, Christmas could have come without me. But today... I felt the change. I felt lighter. I took a deep breath, breathing in that sweet spring air. My kids even looked cuter (I know, you're thinking that's impossible because they are pretty dang cute as is) and their squeals delighted me instead of annoyed me.
Winter makes everything quiet, cold and often ugly. But Spring... oh, Spring. I'm having a love affair with you. And I know that a new season is beginning for me, as well. It's time to be happy again. It's time to quit moping. It's time to embrace the changes that have happened around me and learn to love the direction my life has taken. I finally feel that it's possible.
He said it best:
In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." (Albert Camus)
Alas, it was there all along - this light spring feeling. I just needed to look for it.
